There are so many things that I worry about when it concerns Ex. Some of it I could and would consider normal. Like the pending termination papers, or wondering now since his bankruptcy is now discharged, will that give him a second wind for him to change his mind, and come back after Doodlebug????????
Then every once in a while, a memory creeps into my mind, and just plays tricks on me. And I have to remind myself that I probably watch too much CourtTV
. But what keeps randomly creeping into my mind, is the very first (Dec. 2004) visit we had at the Attorney General's office, in which our case worker, was kind of going over the rules of what Ex was to provide. At this time, she mentioned something about insurance, and I remember him saying something to the effect of:
"Oh, yeah, I figured that, I'll have to have him added, and I've got a half million life insurace policy..." now this is where my memory fades because I can't remember if he said, "for him" meaning, in case something should happen to Ex, Doodlebug would stand to receive half a million,...or if he said, "on him". I question that because, I know that EX had one out ON ME when we were engaged.
This is one of those explosive thoughts you try to push out of your head, but it comes back all the time.
I keep thinking, what a perfect motive, or alibi for him, should something ever happen to Doodlebug. He could always rely on, "hey I never even saw the kid." "I was in the process of terminating my rights,...I forgot about the policy"....
Like I said, I probably watch too much TV, but when my tires or brakes make a funny noise, I become extremely aware of my environment. I am scared. Which is something I am realizing today.
Do I think EX could be capable? I do.
When he first filed bankruptcy, he file for around $457,000 in debt. He supposedly broke. A $500,000 life insurance policy could come in handy.
I know I shouldn't worry about this. And I have told few enough friends, should anything ever happen, look there first, and why.
But the reason I write about this is because, how do you make your self not worry about such things?
Someone, anyone please write me and tell me I am being irrationale. Please tell me that I really have nothing to worry about. . . .
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Just Breathe
aaahhhh..... just when things look bad....something happens and it looks so good.
I got paid yesterday, and usually my direct deposit hits before our checks get into our hands. So, with check in hand, I called the Daycare and told them it was ok to go ahead and cash the daycare check they were holding.
When I got home last night, I checked my mail. I had a check from my bank for a little over $44!!! I guess we get rapid rewards points, 10 cents on the dollar for what you spend on your debit card. Well, they sent me my check. I was so excited until this morning. My direct deposit didn't go in until last night.....after both checks went through. I got a $60 debit adjustment. That is an entire tank of gas, so there went my $44 of "free" money.
Oh well right? Something like don't sweat the small stuff huh?
Still no child support. Still no termination papers.
Wanna hear how crazy my mind works? Sometimes, when I am overpretending, that "the others" and their constant irresponsibilty aren't bothering me, my mind reminds me that they are, and I end up with some stupid dream.
Last night I dream Ex shut down his company website because I looked at it.
How silly is that right?
Here is what I struggle with every day:
Why do I still care? Someone mentioned in one of my comments, something about a sense of injustice, and maybe that is it.
Now, it looks like the physician I am working for, my be persuing to relocate his practice again, which means, I may need to seek another job. And right now, just isn't the time for that.
Makes me wonder sometimes, when will my plate be less full.
I have another RN test next weekend. I hope I pass it. I should really be studying and reading righ now, but I actually multi-tasking: typing this, catching up on season 3 of Lost since it comes back on tonight, and reading during the breaks. We had surgeries scheduled this morning, and no patients scheduled for the afternoon, which in turn, makes for a very, very long day.
But I did attend some random luncheon about the construction at the hospital, and got a free lunch-chicken salad sandwich, potatoe salad, and fresh fruit. So when I left, I grabbed 2 more, so Doodlebug and I can eat them for dinner. I feel like a cheap, but free yummy food, is free yummy food, right?
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I just stare at Doodlebug. It's one of the most peaceful moments of my day. Watching him sleep, so peacefully, blankie clutched tight, not a worry on his mind. I did that this morning, probably a little too long, but that's ok. He's just an angel, and I treasure these moments.
Like I mentioned earlier, I got paid today, and the funny thing is, I have already paid most of my bills due, and I think once they are all said and over with, I'll have a little over $100 for groceries and gas, until the 15th. Good Lord knows, I am thankful, he has taught me how to make a penny stretch.
I do have some exciting news though, I have been holding it back from here, because it still feels like a dream, and I don't want to risk waking up. But next saturday, should it truly be a reality, I will be singing from the rooftops!
he he he,....how's that for leaving ya hanging ;)
I got paid yesterday, and usually my direct deposit hits before our checks get into our hands. So, with check in hand, I called the Daycare and told them it was ok to go ahead and cash the daycare check they were holding.
When I got home last night, I checked my mail. I had a check from my bank for a little over $44!!! I guess we get rapid rewards points, 10 cents on the dollar for what you spend on your debit card. Well, they sent me my check. I was so excited until this morning. My direct deposit didn't go in until last night.....after both checks went through. I got a $60 debit adjustment. That is an entire tank of gas, so there went my $44 of "free" money.
Oh well right? Something like don't sweat the small stuff huh?
Still no child support. Still no termination papers.
Wanna hear how crazy my mind works? Sometimes, when I am overpretending, that "the others" and their constant irresponsibilty aren't bothering me, my mind reminds me that they are, and I end up with some stupid dream.
Last night I dream Ex shut down his company website because I looked at it.
How silly is that right?
Here is what I struggle with every day:
Why do I still care? Someone mentioned in one of my comments, something about a sense of injustice, and maybe that is it.
Now, it looks like the physician I am working for, my be persuing to relocate his practice again, which means, I may need to seek another job. And right now, just isn't the time for that.
Makes me wonder sometimes, when will my plate be less full.
I have another RN test next weekend. I hope I pass it. I should really be studying and reading righ now, but I actually multi-tasking: typing this, catching up on season 3 of Lost since it comes back on tonight, and reading during the breaks. We had surgeries scheduled this morning, and no patients scheduled for the afternoon, which in turn, makes for a very, very long day.
But I did attend some random luncheon about the construction at the hospital, and got a free lunch-chicken salad sandwich, potatoe salad, and fresh fruit. So when I left, I grabbed 2 more, so Doodlebug and I can eat them for dinner. I feel like a cheap, but free yummy food, is free yummy food, right?
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I just stare at Doodlebug. It's one of the most peaceful moments of my day. Watching him sleep, so peacefully, blankie clutched tight, not a worry on his mind. I did that this morning, probably a little too long, but that's ok. He's just an angel, and I treasure these moments.
Like I mentioned earlier, I got paid today, and the funny thing is, I have already paid most of my bills due, and I think once they are all said and over with, I'll have a little over $100 for groceries and gas, until the 15th. Good Lord knows, I am thankful, he has taught me how to make a penny stretch.
I do have some exciting news though, I have been holding it back from here, because it still feels like a dream, and I don't want to risk waking up. But next saturday, should it truly be a reality, I will be singing from the rooftops!
he he he,....how's that for leaving ya hanging ;)
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I feel like crying
I just looked at my Pacer account.
Ex and Dingo, have had their bankruptcy discharged.
So, for the last 4 years, they have been playing, partying, vacationing, running up credit cards, having a ball,....and now, all that debt, gets swept under a table. Given up to our consumer debt. No wonder, our economy is in the state that it is.
I feel like crying, because all the while they have been racking up this debt, I have been struggling to survive.
All this time, they were vacationing in places like Mexico, Vegas, Hondurus, I was crying over figuring out how to pay my bills, how to be a parent, how to raise a child on my own.
I am so angry right now.
Did I mention that they spent $219,900 on a house. Then sank $98,000 in it to remodel it?? Then turned around after he had child support lowered because he couldn't afford it, and bought a second rent house that was over $200,000????
Did I mention, that at the court hearing in November, I agreed to lower child support again, before he decided to terminate?
Did I mention that if he had paid the amount of lowered child support I agreed to until Doodlebug turned 18, that would have been in the ball park of $88,000.
That is less that the amount of money he paid to remodel that sh!thole house of his.
Ok...so now I am crying and I can't finish this, I'm sorry.
Ex and Dingo, have had their bankruptcy discharged.
So, for the last 4 years, they have been playing, partying, vacationing, running up credit cards, having a ball,....and now, all that debt, gets swept under a table. Given up to our consumer debt. No wonder, our economy is in the state that it is.
I feel like crying, because all the while they have been racking up this debt, I have been struggling to survive.
All this time, they were vacationing in places like Mexico, Vegas, Hondurus, I was crying over figuring out how to pay my bills, how to be a parent, how to raise a child on my own.
I am so angry right now.
Did I mention that they spent $219,900 on a house. Then sank $98,000 in it to remodel it?? Then turned around after he had child support lowered because he couldn't afford it, and bought a second rent house that was over $200,000????
Did I mention, that at the court hearing in November, I agreed to lower child support again, before he decided to terminate?
Did I mention that if he had paid the amount of lowered child support I agreed to until Doodlebug turned 18, that would have been in the ball park of $88,000.
That is less that the amount of money he paid to remodel that sh!thole house of his.
Ok...so now I am crying and I can't finish this, I'm sorry.
WHO ARE YOU? ? ? ?
So just out of curoristy, I am curious as to who is reading my blog.
I sent it out to maybe 5 or 6 people. One of them suggested getting a Stat counter. I've been trying to figure it out lately, and WOW! look at all the people from so many different places!
I am humbled that anyone, would be interested in my little blog.
Would you do me a favor??
Would you leave me a comment, and tell me how you found me? I would love love love to know what you guys think about my blog. Have any advice on anything, I'm dying to know!
I sent it out to maybe 5 or 6 people. One of them suggested getting a Stat counter. I've been trying to figure it out lately, and WOW! look at all the people from so many different places!
I am humbled that anyone, would be interested in my little blog.
Would you do me a favor??
Would you leave me a comment, and tell me how you found me? I would love love love to know what you guys think about my blog. Have any advice on anything, I'm dying to know!
The Never Ending Story
That subject alone, can spur about 10 different "bloggable" subjects in my head, and probably will before the day is over, but I'll start with the one that it is truly meant for.
There are certain movies, that I remember watching as a kid, that I will always think of as "the classics". The Last Unicorn - the cartoon (people always ask if Tom Cruise was in it, and I have no idea what they are talking about), The Dark Crystal, and The Never Ending Story, were the most rememberable for me.
For some reason, The Never Ending Story has been on my mind, and boyfriend bought it for Doodlebug *wink* (and me) this weekend. It was a HUGE success! Doodlebug just loved it! I have seen it I think probably 5 times now, but I'm not com planing because that means, we aren't watching Cars. It's funny, because, when you watch something as a kid, then see it again as an adult, of course it isn't the same. But, when I was watching my son watch it, I could see myself so many years ago, consumed by the Rock Bitter, the racing Snail, the Empress that every little girl wanted to be with the hangy-downy pearl thing on your forehead. Anyway, it has been nothing but fun to watch it with him, and I have so far enjoyed all 5 times. Sometimes, I think that the best thing about having a child, is getting to act like a kid again, except knowing how to really enjoy it this time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, for other things that can relate to the title:
My last court date was November 20, 2007. Seventy days later, I still do not have termination papers. I still have no child support. Last night on the news, there was a story about how apparently alot of deadbeat dads were rounded up and taken to jail. http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=5918568 and I can't help but think:
Why can't anything happen to Doodle' bio.?? He has several websites dedicated to his "oh-so-profitable" business. and boasts of how much money that said business has made, yet is in personal bankruptcy, because he wants to keep his business's name out of the bankruptcy case. Has recently had a civil court case filed against his company, and then changed the company's name.
I have glanced at the new company website from time to time, and can't help but giggle. He is a 34 year old boy, whom when we split, was still attending fraternity parties on a more than "normal" basis. As a matter of fact, when I first googled their address, I found out that he has a non-profit organization set up at his home for his fraternity, as well as noticing that he has the Texas Alcohol and Beverage Commission as a creditor on his bankruptcy papers, coincidence?? But what I find funny about his company website is two-fold: the front is a book, with what looks like a crest (for a fraternity), and the last part is even funnier to me. When Larry and I began dating, he had just broken up with cocaine girlfriend, they liked to 'party' together, alot. Anyway, she had made the comment to him once "The 80s called, they want their bomber jacket back." He had told me this, and he just thought it was the funniest thing. I never said anything, as not to spoil what he thought was an original quip. However, on his professional business website, it says, and I am not lying,
I guess I am talking about this, because I feel like until something is done, I just don't have closure. Everyone I know, keeps telling me to stop thinking about it, because all it does is drive me crazy. How do you stop thinking about it?
I worry from time to time, that she or he, will stumble across my blog. I know that they will know, who I am immediately, but I guess that is a risk I take.
There are certain movies, that I remember watching as a kid, that I will always think of as "the classics". The Last Unicorn - the cartoon (people always ask if Tom Cruise was in it, and I have no idea what they are talking about), The Dark Crystal, and The Never Ending Story, were the most rememberable for me.
For some reason, The Never Ending Story has been on my mind, and boyfriend bought it for Doodlebug *wink* (and me) this weekend. It was a HUGE success! Doodlebug just loved it! I have seen it I think probably 5 times now, but I'm not com planing because that means, we aren't watching Cars. It's funny, because, when you watch something as a kid, then see it again as an adult, of course it isn't the same. But, when I was watching my son watch it, I could see myself so many years ago, consumed by the Rock Bitter, the racing Snail, the Empress that every little girl wanted to be with the hangy-downy pearl thing on your forehead. Anyway, it has been nothing but fun to watch it with him, and I have so far enjoyed all 5 times. Sometimes, I think that the best thing about having a child, is getting to act like a kid again, except knowing how to really enjoy it this time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, for other things that can relate to the title:
My last court date was November 20, 2007. Seventy days later, I still do not have termination papers. I still have no child support. Last night on the news, there was a story about how apparently alot of deadbeat dads were rounded up and taken to jail. http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/local&id=5918568 and I can't help but think:
Why can't anything happen to Doodle' bio.?? He has several websites dedicated to his "oh-so-profitable" business. and boasts of how much money that said business has made, yet is in personal bankruptcy, because he wants to keep his business's name out of the bankruptcy case. Has recently had a civil court case filed against his company, and then changed the company's name.
I have glanced at the new company website from time to time, and can't help but giggle. He is a 34 year old boy, whom when we split, was still attending fraternity parties on a more than "normal" basis. As a matter of fact, when I first googled their address, I found out that he has a non-profit organization set up at his home for his fraternity, as well as noticing that he has the Texas Alcohol and Beverage Commission as a creditor on his bankruptcy papers, coincidence?? But what I find funny about his company website is two-fold: the front is a book, with what looks like a crest (for a fraternity), and the last part is even funnier to me. When Larry and I began dating, he had just broken up with cocaine girlfriend, they liked to 'party' together, alot. Anyway, she had made the comment to him once "The 80s called, they want their bomber jacket back." He had told me this, and he just thought it was the funniest thing. I never said anything, as not to spoil what he thought was an original quip. However, on his professional business website, it says, and I am not lying,
"The 70s called, they want their aluminum siding back!"I just about died when I saw that. Who in the world would write something like that? My ex and his dingo wife. So for reasons like that I laugh. But for people who boast to the world how fabulous their company is, why not pay child support? Why not sign the papers? If need be, I'll drive there with black pen in hand, and pay for the notary.
I guess I am talking about this, because I feel like until something is done, I just don't have closure. Everyone I know, keeps telling me to stop thinking about it, because all it does is drive me crazy. How do you stop thinking about it?
I worry from time to time, that she or he, will stumble across my blog. I know that they will know, who I am immediately, but I guess that is a risk I take.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Quote from a Good Friend
I love great quotes. As a matter of fact, some of my favorites are on my myspace page.
But today, a great friend of mine, one whom I met on the internet, via singlemomz, one who knows my story from the day I was scared to death looking for answers when I found them, to my ex coming back into the picture, dragging his new fiance, to all the court battles, to this very day.
As we were speaking of various things, she said:
She is from the New Jersey area....and the word "wack" cracks me up, but so does the whole idea of this quote...
which is why I put here for all of you to enjoy as well....
Lord I love her, I needed this smile and laugh today!
But today, a great friend of mine, one whom I met on the internet, via singlemomz, one who knows my story from the day I was scared to death looking for answers when I found them, to my ex coming back into the picture, dragging his new fiance, to all the court battles, to this very day.
As we were speaking of various things, she said:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, and the strength to wack the people that piss me off."
She is from the New Jersey area....and the word "wack" cracks me up, but so does the whole idea of this quote...
which is why I put here for all of you to enjoy as well....
Lord I love her, I needed this smile and laugh today!
The Most Mature Relationship I've Ever Had
Is with the wife/widow of a man I dated while he was married to her. Bet that caught your attention. But it's true. She and I had a lunch date yesterday, and every time I am around her, I can't help but think, "Man, for once, two women did it right."
After having doodlebug, I moved back to Southeast Texas to be close to my parents and siblings, from Austin. I loved the city, everything about that one in particular, and hometown was somewhere I vowed to leave at 18 and never return, and so far, hadn't.
The dating pool at home, was shallow, not much to catch. So, my cousin, who is more like a sister to me, started out on a set-me-up-with-someone rampage.
I got a call from a man whom I will call Billy. billy was a divorcee, with a daughter, and twin boys. He was also out of a fresh annulment. Seems marriage number two was doomed from the honeymoon, and they decided to get out quick. My cousin's friend did the sale article for his company, gave him my number, story, and he called.
At this point, I knew my ex was already married to psycho-wife, and they had been giving me hell, and I couldn't help but think, why not? Besides, he said, he and the children's mother and stepfather had an amicable situation, and I thought, could if not anything, be a great tool for lesson to be learned.
We went on a few dates, and I like him. He didn't fall into my normal category of physical attributes, that I normally go for, but I thought, my "normal" hasn't worked out in the past. The more we dated, and, the more we liked each other.
Then it happened.
Wife #2, the one he had gotten an annulment from, went through his online cell phone history and found my number. He warned me about her. That she was just a mean, vindictive person, and would probably do or say something to hurt me.
Well, late one night, once I was already in bed, I got a phone call, and I knew immediately it was "her". No one in this area code knew my phone number, and I didn't recognize who was calling me, it had to be her. And it was. And I answered it.
Here's is how the opening of the conversation went:
"hello"
"Is this Anabiosis?"
"yes"
"Hi, this is Sass-a-frass, Billy's wife"
"wife? May be news to some folks, he told me you two had had an annulment."
"He... a WHAT?!?!?"
Well the conversation didn't last long, I wasn't in the mood for some hell bent ex to try to attempt to "put me in my place." So, I just told her to take whatever up with Billy.
The next morning, she even emailed me, a few times. I called Billy, asked to remind ex, to leave me out of their spats. She then text messaged me, and I had had enough. After all, been there and done that with Larry's cocaine addicted ex-girlfriend. Sassafrass had no idea, if she wanted to play a game, she'd better have her big girl panties on. So I emailed her back, a snotty little email, and just requested her to no longer, call me, text message me, nor email me. Forget my name, numbers and email address. I also attached a tag on the email so that I would know when she read it.
About two weeks later, after Billy and I decided we fell in love. I got the email, where she had read my email. I called Billy at work to let him know, that a big storm may be brewing, and to hunker down. All was fine the rest of the day. Until that evening. This was 2 days before New Year's Eve. We had spent the Christmas together, where we first said , "I think I love you".
We usually would IM each other during the evening, while his kids were running around the house, and mine was toddling and crawling around. What was surprisingly different was, he was super short, non-chalent, and just very un-attached.
Well, guess who's gut kicked into HIGH GEAR??
So, I called, and his manner on the phone immediately let me know, SHE was THERE. So, I boldly said, "billy? is she there" His answer was brimming around who, and no, when she boldly said, "you better tell her I am here!"
Oh What a Night.
It was the usual, have you told her the truth about us, him lieing to her, in my ear, and finally me saying, "PUT HER ON THE PHONE NOW!" Being that she was shoulder to shoulder to him, she grabbed the phone.
This was a turning point for us.
We were both mad, angry and fuming, but this is where this story has a twist. We were mad, angry and fuming.... AT THE RIGHT PERSON,. . . . . HIM.
Needless to say, Larry taught me something, always have proof. Seems Billy and Sassafrass, were still married, there was NEVER an annulment, they had separated because he hit her (well head-butted to be exact) one night, and she left. That was about a week and a half before I met him. And, he had been trying to woo her back ever since. So, he had told her we were only friends. My rebuttal to this was of course, well darling, I do have your email address, be sure to check it first thing in the morning, because I have an IM archive of messages, and I will send you every-single-one. And I did. Her response, and you could actually hear the smile in her voice as well as the evil smirk, "Billy, I believe you just F*cked up with this one. She's pretty damn smart".
The next day, I was sick to my stomach. He tried to IM me several times apologising at her ruthless plots to ruin his life. Me, I took 3 showers that day to wash what I felt like filth off of me. I had to be at work at 6 pm. I received a call from Sassafrass oh around 5. She thanked me for the IM's, there was some small talk, and then she said,:
"Do you think you can find a babysitter tonight, and meet me for a drink?"
my reply:
"I thought you would never ask."
I walked into work, told them I was leaving, had some personal issues to tend to, called my niece, and got ready for my date with my boyfriend's wife.
Some of my friends warned me not to go, that this was a set-up for her and her friends to beat me up...but there was something about her voice that night and next day, I knew she wasn't like that.
I couldn't decide what to wear, I didn't want to look like the hooch, that any women feels like when she realizes she's been dating another woman's husband. So I decided on cute jeans, heals, and a fitted white shirt. Not too much, not too little. We met in the parking lot of one our more trendy bars, and when I saw her, my jaw literally dropped. She wasn't the frumpy, mean, hometown girl I was expecting at all. She was small, blonde, gorgeous blue eyes, and big boobs, I know that because she dressed to impress me, just like I dressed to unimpress her. We met with a big smile, a huge hug, and glad to finally met you!!!
We went into the bar, got a table, ordered food neither of us really touched, and a bucket of beer. She pulled out emails, pictures, etc (she had already seen everything I had). We sat, drank, laughed, and thought it would be funny to start sending Billy text messages, with the same little phrases he so often sent to the both of us, "Miss you", "Can't stop thinking about you", "can't get you off my mind", ect,....the funny thing was, he had NO IDEA that although we were both randomly sending these text messages, that we were sending them from the same table. He had no idea that we had planned to meet.
As the beer rolled on, many a man, came up to our table and would often say something like, "Why are two such beautiful women, sitting here by themselves in such a deep conversation?? It's happy our ladies". Finally, I looked at her, after this tirade, and an introduction from one gentlemen who had just came from a table of men, and I smirked looked at her and said, "Should I, or shall you?" She said, "oh no, you go ahead, be my guest."
I said, "HI, my name is Anabiosis, and this pretty lady in front of me, seems to be my boyfriends wife."
I think he forgot to breathe as he glanced from her to me, and back, and he finally said, "No way." She then said, "Yes, she is my husband's girlfriend". At this point, I felt the need to correct her, "Mistress, sounds so much cooler though dont you think?"
The man stumbled back to his table in utter disbelief, as we clicked yet another beer bottle and laughed our way through more conversation. That bit of information, flew through the bar like a wild fire. Needless to say, our food, our beer tab, shots, everything was paid for by the all the confused people in the bar, either in a congratulations for doing the impossible, or waiting for one hell of a cat fight.
After a few rounds of what we thought were funny text messages, and a few rounds of beer, we thought, to top the night off, how hilarious would it be, to send him, a picture text of the two of us hanging out at the bar together, and we did, it read, "We can't seem to stop talking about you."
New Year's Eve, we were both dateless, and she came over to hang out for a little while. I had made new plans with friends of mine, she with hers, except hers were all happy couples. I knew she would regret that, and invited her out with us, which she politely declined. I reminded her to call me when she couldn't stand it any longer, and by 1030, she met me and my friends downtown. Funny thing was we ran into some of the guys from the bar, who shouted, "Holy $hit, they are still hanging out together, what an unfortunate $@#@#$$#" She and I, stayed out until 5 am that morning. We had a blast. I had found a friend, someone I really connected with, and was so excited, until about a week and a half later.
Billy IM'd me to see how I was doing, and eventually let me know, that he and Sassafrass were going to work it out. I immediately called her. She said, "I took vows, I feel strongly about that, I have to try at least once. And honestly after meeting you and getting to you know you, I can't blame him for dating and loving you, I would & do too."
I told her that I would always be her friend, and that of course I was even more mad at Billy now for taking my new best friend away, and that if she ever needed ANYTHING to call me. We kept in touch with text messages or IM's here or there. I finally told her, I think for you and Billy to really give it a fighting chance, I have to go. She said ok, and we didn't talk for a few months.
Not long after I met boyfriend, I was going to go visit him, when I got a call from my mother. It was a friday, and I was getting ready to leave for Houston. I answered the phone, and she said, "Billy?" I said, .... "yes". She said, "Billy Highhorse?" I said, "yes, mother". "three kids,.." "yes mother! What?", so annoyed. She finally said, Ana, he died on tuesday, he was killed in a motorcycle accident. I don't even know if I had the respect to say anything to her before I hung up on her and immediately called Sassafrass.
She answered the phone, obviously crying and said, "I've picked up the phone and dialed your number so many times now, I just didn't know if you would come."
I asked her where she was, and told her I would be right there.
I called boyfriend, told him the story, and that I would be late, I had to drive two towns over, out of my way to go see her.
I don't do funerals, but I went to the funeral home to see her. She met me out in the lobby, we hugged and cried, and hugged some more. Her best friend, walked out and said, "It's always amazing how that asshole always brings the two of you together."
Then we all laughed and sat down and just talked for awhile. She asked me if I wanted to come in and see him, which I didn't. The last memory I had of him was leaving my house for work, the day everything went down.
Since then, she and I are the greatest of friends. We hang out, we talk, she'll be a bridesmaid in my wedding (should I ever have one), I would trust her with doodlebugs life. And we've already plotted that if boyfriend and I break up, she and I are gonna move to Austin together, and man hunt.
She was in town for a concert night before last, and she came to my job, and we had lunch together.
She's fun. We were brought together by a not too unusual circumstance, but for the first time that I know of in history, we were both on the same team: Team Woman. We placed blame where blame was due. We didn't hold grudges against each other for having the same taste in things, or falling for the same guy. I did nothing wrong, nor did she, and because we were both mature enough to handle that, we found something better, a real true, mature, friendship.
After having doodlebug, I moved back to Southeast Texas to be close to my parents and siblings, from Austin. I loved the city, everything about that one in particular, and hometown was somewhere I vowed to leave at 18 and never return, and so far, hadn't.
The dating pool at home, was shallow, not much to catch. So, my cousin, who is more like a sister to me, started out on a set-me-up-with-someone rampage.
I got a call from a man whom I will call Billy. billy was a divorcee, with a daughter, and twin boys. He was also out of a fresh annulment. Seems marriage number two was doomed from the honeymoon, and they decided to get out quick. My cousin's friend did the sale article for his company, gave him my number, story, and he called.
At this point, I knew my ex was already married to psycho-wife, and they had been giving me hell, and I couldn't help but think, why not? Besides, he said, he and the children's mother and stepfather had an amicable situation, and I thought, could if not anything, be a great tool for lesson to be learned.
We went on a few dates, and I like him. He didn't fall into my normal category of physical attributes, that I normally go for, but I thought, my "normal" hasn't worked out in the past. The more we dated, and, the more we liked each other.
Then it happened.
Wife #2, the one he had gotten an annulment from, went through his online cell phone history and found my number. He warned me about her. That she was just a mean, vindictive person, and would probably do or say something to hurt me.
Well, late one night, once I was already in bed, I got a phone call, and I knew immediately it was "her". No one in this area code knew my phone number, and I didn't recognize who was calling me, it had to be her. And it was. And I answered it.
Here's is how the opening of the conversation went:
"hello"
"Is this Anabiosis?"
"yes"
"Hi, this is Sass-a-frass, Billy's wife"
"wife? May be news to some folks, he told me you two had had an annulment."
"He... a WHAT?!?!?"
Well the conversation didn't last long, I wasn't in the mood for some hell bent ex to try to attempt to "put me in my place." So, I just told her to take whatever up with Billy.
The next morning, she even emailed me, a few times. I called Billy, asked to remind ex, to leave me out of their spats. She then text messaged me, and I had had enough. After all, been there and done that with Larry's cocaine addicted ex-girlfriend. Sassafrass had no idea, if she wanted to play a game, she'd better have her big girl panties on. So I emailed her back, a snotty little email, and just requested her to no longer, call me, text message me, nor email me. Forget my name, numbers and email address. I also attached a tag on the email so that I would know when she read it.
About two weeks later, after Billy and I decided we fell in love. I got the email, where she had read my email. I called Billy at work to let him know, that a big storm may be brewing, and to hunker down. All was fine the rest of the day. Until that evening. This was 2 days before New Year's Eve. We had spent the Christmas together, where we first said , "I think I love you".
We usually would IM each other during the evening, while his kids were running around the house, and mine was toddling and crawling around. What was surprisingly different was, he was super short, non-chalent, and just very un-attached.
Well, guess who's gut kicked into HIGH GEAR??
So, I called, and his manner on the phone immediately let me know, SHE was THERE. So, I boldly said, "billy? is she there" His answer was brimming around who, and no, when she boldly said, "you better tell her I am here!"
Oh What a Night.
It was the usual, have you told her the truth about us, him lieing to her, in my ear, and finally me saying, "PUT HER ON THE PHONE NOW!" Being that she was shoulder to shoulder to him, she grabbed the phone.
This was a turning point for us.
We were both mad, angry and fuming, but this is where this story has a twist. We were mad, angry and fuming.... AT THE RIGHT PERSON,. . . . . HIM.
Needless to say, Larry taught me something, always have proof. Seems Billy and Sassafrass, were still married, there was NEVER an annulment, they had separated because he hit her (well head-butted to be exact) one night, and she left. That was about a week and a half before I met him. And, he had been trying to woo her back ever since. So, he had told her we were only friends. My rebuttal to this was of course, well darling, I do have your email address, be sure to check it first thing in the morning, because I have an IM archive of messages, and I will send you every-single-one. And I did. Her response, and you could actually hear the smile in her voice as well as the evil smirk, "Billy, I believe you just F*cked up with this one. She's pretty damn smart".
The next day, I was sick to my stomach. He tried to IM me several times apologising at her ruthless plots to ruin his life. Me, I took 3 showers that day to wash what I felt like filth off of me. I had to be at work at 6 pm. I received a call from Sassafrass oh around 5. She thanked me for the IM's, there was some small talk, and then she said,:
"Do you think you can find a babysitter tonight, and meet me for a drink?"
my reply:
"I thought you would never ask."
I walked into work, told them I was leaving, had some personal issues to tend to, called my niece, and got ready for my date with my boyfriend's wife.
Some of my friends warned me not to go, that this was a set-up for her and her friends to beat me up...but there was something about her voice that night and next day, I knew she wasn't like that.
I couldn't decide what to wear, I didn't want to look like the hooch, that any women feels like when she realizes she's been dating another woman's husband. So I decided on cute jeans, heals, and a fitted white shirt. Not too much, not too little. We met in the parking lot of one our more trendy bars, and when I saw her, my jaw literally dropped. She wasn't the frumpy, mean, hometown girl I was expecting at all. She was small, blonde, gorgeous blue eyes, and big boobs, I know that because she dressed to impress me, just like I dressed to unimpress her. We met with a big smile, a huge hug, and glad to finally met you!!!
We went into the bar, got a table, ordered food neither of us really touched, and a bucket of beer. She pulled out emails, pictures, etc (she had already seen everything I had). We sat, drank, laughed, and thought it would be funny to start sending Billy text messages, with the same little phrases he so often sent to the both of us, "Miss you", "Can't stop thinking about you", "can't get you off my mind", ect,....the funny thing was, he had NO IDEA that although we were both randomly sending these text messages, that we were sending them from the same table. He had no idea that we had planned to meet.
As the beer rolled on, many a man, came up to our table and would often say something like, "Why are two such beautiful women, sitting here by themselves in such a deep conversation?? It's happy our ladies". Finally, I looked at her, after this tirade, and an introduction from one gentlemen who had just came from a table of men, and I smirked looked at her and said, "Should I, or shall you?" She said, "oh no, you go ahead, be my guest."
I said, "HI, my name is Anabiosis, and this pretty lady in front of me, seems to be my boyfriends wife."
I think he forgot to breathe as he glanced from her to me, and back, and he finally said, "No way." She then said, "Yes, she is my husband's girlfriend". At this point, I felt the need to correct her, "Mistress, sounds so much cooler though dont you think?"
The man stumbled back to his table in utter disbelief, as we clicked yet another beer bottle and laughed our way through more conversation. That bit of information, flew through the bar like a wild fire. Needless to say, our food, our beer tab, shots, everything was paid for by the all the confused people in the bar, either in a congratulations for doing the impossible, or waiting for one hell of a cat fight.
After a few rounds of what we thought were funny text messages, and a few rounds of beer, we thought, to top the night off, how hilarious would it be, to send him, a picture text of the two of us hanging out at the bar together, and we did, it read, "We can't seem to stop talking about you."
New Year's Eve, we were both dateless, and she came over to hang out for a little while. I had made new plans with friends of mine, she with hers, except hers were all happy couples. I knew she would regret that, and invited her out with us, which she politely declined. I reminded her to call me when she couldn't stand it any longer, and by 1030, she met me and my friends downtown. Funny thing was we ran into some of the guys from the bar, who shouted, "Holy $hit, they are still hanging out together, what an unfortunate $@#@#$$#" She and I, stayed out until 5 am that morning. We had a blast. I had found a friend, someone I really connected with, and was so excited, until about a week and a half later.
Billy IM'd me to see how I was doing, and eventually let me know, that he and Sassafrass were going to work it out. I immediately called her. She said, "I took vows, I feel strongly about that, I have to try at least once. And honestly after meeting you and getting to you know you, I can't blame him for dating and loving you, I would & do too."
I told her that I would always be her friend, and that of course I was even more mad at Billy now for taking my new best friend away, and that if she ever needed ANYTHING to call me. We kept in touch with text messages or IM's here or there. I finally told her, I think for you and Billy to really give it a fighting chance, I have to go. She said ok, and we didn't talk for a few months.
Not long after I met boyfriend, I was going to go visit him, when I got a call from my mother. It was a friday, and I was getting ready to leave for Houston. I answered the phone, and she said, "Billy?" I said, .... "yes". She said, "Billy Highhorse?" I said, "yes, mother". "three kids,.." "yes mother! What?", so annoyed. She finally said, Ana, he died on tuesday, he was killed in a motorcycle accident. I don't even know if I had the respect to say anything to her before I hung up on her and immediately called Sassafrass.
She answered the phone, obviously crying and said, "I've picked up the phone and dialed your number so many times now, I just didn't know if you would come."
I asked her where she was, and told her I would be right there.
I called boyfriend, told him the story, and that I would be late, I had to drive two towns over, out of my way to go see her.
I don't do funerals, but I went to the funeral home to see her. She met me out in the lobby, we hugged and cried, and hugged some more. Her best friend, walked out and said, "It's always amazing how that asshole always brings the two of you together."
Then we all laughed and sat down and just talked for awhile. She asked me if I wanted to come in and see him, which I didn't. The last memory I had of him was leaving my house for work, the day everything went down.
Since then, she and I are the greatest of friends. We hang out, we talk, she'll be a bridesmaid in my wedding (should I ever have one), I would trust her with doodlebugs life. And we've already plotted that if boyfriend and I break up, she and I are gonna move to Austin together, and man hunt.
She was in town for a concert night before last, and she came to my job, and we had lunch together.
She's fun. We were brought together by a not too unusual circumstance, but for the first time that I know of in history, we were both on the same team: Team Woman. We placed blame where blame was due. We didn't hold grudges against each other for having the same taste in things, or falling for the same guy. I did nothing wrong, nor did she, and because we were both mature enough to handle that, we found something better, a real true, mature, friendship.
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