Ideas of a new life (past and present)

ok, so I am not the healthiest person, actually I'm not even in the ballpark of healthy.




I have sparking ideas of being healthy but as a single mom, sometimes healthy doesnt' fit into the budget, the time, or the energy plan for the day.




I am 5'3" and as of today, I weigh 134.0 lbs at 29 years old. Am I over weight? No. Could I be better, yes, but then again, what real people couldn't ( I don't count celebrities who talk about how easy it was to lose the baby weight, when they have the time and money to exercise all day or have trainers and cooks, blah blah blah).




Anyway, I have a friend, who since having children, has become a little nutsy in the dieting department, (God bless her I love her, but she can do this because she is a stay at home mom-so she does lots of research on trends) but she recently sent me a link to http://www.katheats.blogspot.com/ and I have actually found it interesting.




Mostly because she and I are about the same size. I don't have as much weight to lose as she did in the beginning, but I like the pictures of her food, except for the cheesy stuff. I don't like cheese, not even on my pizza. No, before you ask, I am NOT lactose intolerant, I am cheese intolerant, I don't like the way it tastes, it smells, yuk, i guess it is genetic, my grandmother didn't eat cheese either. My son isn't the biggest fan, but at least he eats it on pizza.




Anyway, I have been checking out this lady's blog. I started yesterday. And thought, I'll keep it in mind. Lunch yesterday, was way too much cheeseless pepperoni Papa John's pizza with that devilish garlic butter sauce. So needless to say..........I was full for the rest of the day. I picked doodlebug ( my son, sometimes I will call him my cuppycake or booger-bear) from school, and asked my 3 year old what he wanted for dinner. His reply? "Chips, and a poptart." Ok, I am not healthy, but I am not THAT unhealthy. After fighting my long commute on the tollway in Houston, TX home, being too full from lunch, I didn't feel like cooking. So, he halfway got his wish. As I let him watch The Polar Express while I took sugar-bear (my dog...not his real name) out to use the bathroom, he got to munch on a sandwich , and chips, and very watered down hot chocolate (like that makes it "better" for him?????). When we got back in , I had..... ChipsAhoy chocolate chip cookies and milk. I know. But just not in the mood. Doodlebug ended up having 2 cookies and milk for dessert.




So after that whole life changing (you know what I mean) meeting with my pastor this weekend, I've been making mental notes on all the way's I want to change my life.




I've started waking up at 5 a.m. to start my day. If I actually get out of bed at 5 (which I didnt' do today) I have time to wake up and start my day slowly, being able to breath along the way. I get up, turn the coffee maker on, turn the news on, sit on the floor and stretch, take the pooch out for his morning business, figure out our breakfasts, and what to take to work for lunch, and get mostly dressed before I wake booger-bear up around 6:20. We have to be out of the door, in the car, and backing up out of the drive way at 6:40. However, I am trying to back this up even 10 more mintues. Its funny how 5-10 minutes can make or break your commute in Houston. I learned last Friday, that if I leave 10 minutes earlier, I can drive the beltway the entire way to work and save $3.00 a day in tolls. I know $3.00 a day doesn't sound like much, but round-trip that is $6.00 a day, plus gas, and as a single mom, doing it all by myself, you save money wherever you can. So, 10 minutes earlier will continue to be the goal. And I like the little bit of "me time" in the morning.




"Me time" what a funny concept. Of all the unsolicited advice and comments you get as a pregnant woman, I have one that sticks out in my memory all the time. I worked with a single mom named Bernadette. She was actually the first and only single mom I knew. She said something to me one day that I laughed at, but think about all the time now. Don't ask me why, because I can't remember, but we were somehow talking about baths. Yes, I am a bath girl. I love my baths. Showers are fine when you are in a hurry, or really dirty or for whatever reason, but baths are for me anyway, a delicious pleasure. Well she said, "You better enjoy your baths now, because you'll never have another alone, will never be the same." I said, "you are crazy, that is my me time, and I may have to give alot up, but not that!!!" Each and ever time I had doodlebug sitting in his swing while I took a bath, hating to hear Pop-Goes-The-Weasel one more time, I thought about what she said. Every time I thought, I'll just put him in here with me, a 2-for-1 special to hurry up and get it done with, I though what she said. Everytime I locked one door, and he came bolting through the other to see what I was doing, I thought about what she said. Everytime he comes in to say, "Whatcha doin? Holds two cars and ask me, "pick one, the silver one? the red one?" "Mommy what's that?" "It's Doodlebugs turn!" and starts stripping.... I think about her. Even now, my boyfriend has to play the ultimate defensive for me. I take a bath, and the door knob is shaking, or little knuckles are knocking on the door, and I hear, "leave your momma alone, she's taking a bath." Nope, has never been the same, I truly never get my long hot baths alone.....havent' had one in 3 years.




But that is the punch-line to being a single mom. So many of us begin it devestated because we are alone. The funny thing is, a single mom, is never alone, never. Sometimes I day dream what it would be like (again) to take a long bath, and turn the T.V. on to something non-"educational" like Lifetime Movie Network, and sit on my living room floor,.....and just paint my toe nails.




So where was I anyway before I drifted down memory lane?




Oh, getting and living healthier.




So, now I am waking up earlier, so I don't start my day in a hurry and stressed out. (AWwww, Doodlebug and mine's song "What a Wonderful World" is playing on my launchcast right now) I am saving $3.00 a day by taking the beltway instead of the toll way. And my goal for the latter part of my evening is this:




Come home, get the Furchild, go to a very well lit, park down the road from my house, let the booger-bear ride his bike, while the sugar-bear and I jog around the cement sidewalk around the tennis courts. At 6.5 human years, my about 46 doggie year pooch has definitely gained his middle age weight. I also have a super guilty conscience. I am such an outdoor person. But at this time of year, it is dark when I get home. And when you have a 3 year old, you don't go parading around in the dark with your son, no matter how big your dog is, (which at 105 lbs, heard a neighbor's screen door close this morning, and jumped, like a scared person, they way he jumped from being startled, startled me, how silly is that???) so we don't get out after work anymore, but hopefully that will change. I have to make that change. I can't afford a gym. And furchild deserves family time and exercise too, so hopefully this park idea will work. My dog, sleeps all day, on my king size bed, on top of the down feather bed, and comforter, with plently of food and water, and multiple chew toys. Guilty?? you ask. Yes, because each and everytime I walk out the door, he looks at me, ears back, head lowered, super sad puppy eyes, and makes me feel like the scum of the earth. So when I drive down the road, and see the same breed of dog, chained to a pine tree in someone's front yard with nothing other than a plastic doghouse, I tell him through thought...boy you've got it good, and just don't know it. But, I left him at 6:30 this morning, will pick doodlebug up from school, drop him off at boyfriends, go home walk sad eyed puppy, pick up clothes and stuff for dinner, movies and a sleep over at boyfriends house, while leaving sugar-bear at home....alone. I'll see him in the morning, and tomorrow night. But I still feel guilty. So...........Saturday.........I have to take him either to a dog park...or to the beach or somewhere where he can run free, and tire himself to another week, while I work. He's a pampered big dog. I can't shouldn't feel guilty about that right?




So about dinner tonight, because of that blogspot, on my lunch break, I bought chicken, and eggplant for dinner tonight. I am not sure how we are going to cook it, but I'll let you know tomorrow. I am going to jog some tonight.




And most importantly, I am going to love on the two men in my life, my little one, and my big one. Because of the "big" changes occuring in my life, which I will elaborate on more at some time, my romantic self has suffered. The stress caused by the two people I am in the process of learning how to forgive, has wrecked havoc in my life, and I am on the road to repair that too.




Thankfully, my boyfriend is a good, kind, strong, loving, wonderful man, and he has stood by my side through all of this............and it's his turn to held.