I *will be* Legend

So obviously, I went to the movies last night. Boyfriend and I went to see I am Legend, and wow, it was every bit as good as I wanted it to be, and better, made for a decent night out.




I have to say decent because I noticed something that I think can be very important, but for some reason, it was large last night, it made me take notice.




Boyfriend kind of has a negative outlook. I have always shrugged it off as: he doesn't like some of his co-workers (and I can't blame him there), hates being so far away from his family, can't have a "normal" dating life with me, etc. Every time we go out, and something does not go right he always always always makes statements like: "my plans never work, everything falls apart when I plan something, etc." Last night was no different, unfortunately. I was super excited about having my child and fur-child free night. My boss, actually even let me off early at 3 o'clock because we were slow, wait, non-existent at the office.




My evening started with me getting home around 4, taking a small nap, bathing and getting ready for our date. Sometimes, I get the feeling, he gets upset if I don't tell him every finite detail of my life, which really annoys me, but I wave it off. For instance, I didn't tell him I got off early, mostly because I didn't want to be bombarded with text messages or phones calls of "what u doin?" Anyway, we got dressed and headed to the theater for our 7:50 movie, we were about an hour early, so we started to Joe's Crab Shack for appetizers. I thought, "lets just sit at the bar, (somewhere I obviously can't sit with doodlebug) that way it'll be faster. We sit down, I ordered a draft beer, he a coke, and ordered our appetizers, this is where the "feeling" started. I already felt like the negativity's were about to flow....and they did. It started with the folks smoking near us, no, I didn't like it either, but I was OUT and at a bar! Whoo hoo! Then his coke didn't taste right, probably had too much syrup or carbonation, whatever....but he refused to ask for something else, and instead, just keep complaining to me. Then some people arrived and started smoking behind us and ordered their food, not appetizers but food, and got served. Apparently, the lady's order was not even ordered (but forgotten )and our bartender apologized and got her food ordered and brought out, and ours (30+ minutes later) still hadn't been brought. So after all the complaining, and just not pleasant mood, we decided to pay our tab and leave. I, was frankly tired about hearing about the coke anyway.




We got to the theater, and he ordered a popcorn, we walked over to the butter and poured butter on it, and then i shook some ( a very little actually) of that butter salt on it, I've seen him do it before, and thought why not. I'll tell you why. He doesn't like it. It's too salty. So he pouted. As we sat down, he wouldn't even hold the bag. I finally had to clear off the top of the popcorn all the while he was saying stuff like, "everything else has turned to $hit in my hands tonight"...and this is where, I am sick of hearing all of it.




I can't stand his negativity. This my freakin night out!!!! I finally pour popcorn into my hands and he finally says...is it all off? grr... whatever. He complains so much and so often about us not being able to going out, and now, this night, he can't focus on the fact.....that WE ARE OUT.




Then the previews start, and he has drank most of our coke, and I say something about maybe running to the bathroom before the previews start and he wants me to refill the coke. However, the previews start, and I stay seated, I love the previews. Well, the movie breaks, and we are all sitting there, more to complain about. The man gets up to go to the restroom, and doesn't take the coke, whatever. Finally the previews start back up, and i get the urge. Some Batman preview comes on (that i don't care about) and I decide this is my moment to make a mad dash for the restroom and go,....but guess what I get when I get back...."thanks for refiling the coke, butthead" I know this was suppose to be in jest, but they aren't, they never are, or at least that is how they come across, I am pretending to make this a joke, but deep down I mean it.




Anyway, we finally get to watch the movie and it is GREAT! LOVED IT, WANT TO BUY IT.




I guess my point in all of this is.............




I am trying really really hard, to stay in a positive mood of life. Surround myself with things that are, well, positive. I have enough of my own self induce negative or bad days, I don't need anyone else's. So when you have someone next to you, who is negative, and pouting over the wrong things (like salty popcorn)....it just puts you in a bad mood.




I almost forgot to mention that he asked me if I wanted him to spend the night at my house tonight, and I said, "No". You would have thought i just shot his dog by the look I got. I tried to explain, "I haven't had a night alone to myself, with no responsibilities in OVER 3 years, this night is mine"..... So I think I've gotten twice, "so what are you going to do, what are your plans".... he is so worried i am going to "do" something, it drives me insane. So I finally told him, "Pack for New Orleans, clean my house, take a shower, paint my toenails, and maybe even watch something like The Notebook."




let's see how many times he
a) calls
b) txts........




I think I will turn my phone off at 7 or so... just so that it is quite.




I am so excited about tonight, that I just dont know what to do with myself.....







But to the part about me being a Legend:




I have been listening to various self helpish audio books like, The Secret and Become a Better You.





The both have a lot of common things, and that is mainly, to have a better more positive life, you have to be a better more positive person, and I want that desperately.




I want to be someone.




I want to do things.




I want to teach my child(ren) how to find who they are early in life, and learn to love our world and all the precious things in it. How to overcome dissappointment, and not only live through it, but learn from it and use it.




On days like today, my chest feels puffed and full of air, because I feel capable. I feel motivated. I am going to push myself to do the things I still dream of. I am young, and I am still vibrate and I can still dream and I can still do.




Today is a good day. I will enjoy today, and I will thank the Lord for giving it to me to enjoy.