A new day, again

ok... so wow, it's almost been 2 weeks since i started this? Really? I had a super rough week last week, and i just never found the time or want to, to write about it.




But things are looking better after an emotional blow-up on sunday. But I am human, and we all deserve bad days.




With that being said, I am happy(ier) on most days, but the funny thing is, I found myself gettting angry this morning in traffic with one of those "I just wish I could tell them off" moods. How these things creep into my brain at the moments they do will always amaze me. Then I remind myself, I am having a good day, don't ruin it by thinking of those two selfish a$$holes.




I didn't have too much of a problem getting out of bed this morning like I did yesterday, but it wasnt' below freezing either. So I got up, put my scrubs on, I work for a doctor, a surgeon. And he said, I could wear business casual to work, which that idea seemed so fun, until I started doing it. And now, I am slowly transforming back into my scrubs, because well they are more comfortable, easy and cheap upkeep, and well, as a nurse, I personally just feel more professional in scrubs that I do in "street clothes". Anyway, I got out of bed, and I made my coffee, turned on the news, stetched, and then took the dog out for a walk.




I've decided that since I can't afford a gym membership right now, to try to start setting my clock back by about 10 mintues, which would start my alarms at 4:50. That way my son can still sleep, and I can get the chubby dog out for a small wake-us jog in the morning, down to the end of the street and back twice. Also, I have mapped out a 2 mile walk at work, which will be my lunch break. Good excercise, and good from keeping me from going to the Mall across the street and trying to buy things I can't afford.




This morning, I had a piece of whole wheat toast with some strawberry jam when I woke up with my coffee at around 5:15.




When I got to work 3 hours later i made some Quaker oatmeal which exploded in the work microwave. Didn't know it would do that. So I remade my oatmeal, and squished a small bananna up in it. yummy. Not as good as the Quaker Bananna's and cream instant...but I got more, and it wasnt' bad.




Doc has left to go do rounds at the hospital, my secretary has called in, her daughter is sick. I am trying to study some of my nursing material, so I can take my next test in January. I am an LVN, who is studying to get my RN through Excelsior. I was hoping to be done by this month, December 2006. Sadly, LVN's do the same work as RN's (except supposedly we can't do assessments, however I can't tell you how many I have done, so my "superbusy" charge could sit at the computer, and then come tag her name to it, by finishing the last few questions) and make waaaaaaaay less. As a single mom, who wasn't getting child support, unless it was literally being taken by the attorney general by ways of liens, garnishment, of raiding bank accounts, making our every day life needs financially was overpowering, and I just haven't had the extra $232 it takes to take an exam. I am smart enough for sure. I could have zipped right through, but I can't afford it, and pay all my bills, and feed my child at the same time. It is a vicious circle for sure. Working as an LVN, I can barely make ends meet , if at all. However, I can't afford to do the things I need to do to get my RN, where I can make more money. But my mom, is going to pay for my next test, and I am planning on asking for a 6 month forbearance on paying my student loans back, which are $205.11 a month. That way, I can take my tests, and get that over with.





Here is where my choice to be in a good mood and thinking positively HAS to come into play. And I am choosing to be more optimistic and know that I will get there, I will get my RN, and i will make more money to support me, and my child. Because he deserves it, and so do I.




Anyway, I am back to reading about blood disorders, and cardio disorders, fun fun fun!