My First Day

The last 4 years, well actually lets see, I could acutally say the last 7+ years of my life have been quite a ride. Lots of wrong turns, dips and inclines along the way. However, some major things have been happening lately that are just so huge, that for the first time, I can in the moment, realize the vastness of them as they are taking place, and I want to be able to adjust to them in stride, and look back and say wow, I did that.




So with that said, I have this new idea that I want and/or need to change alot of things in my life. I need to change my attitude towards lots of things,...most importantly this morning, about getting out of bed. I need to change the not so healthy way I eat, or I let my son eat. I need to change my views of the and my world in general. How I focus on my religion of Christianity, and how I would like to see myself be a better Christian, not the crazy extreme kind, just the kind that feels a connection to a higher power. Something to defer my problems, my hurts, my pains, my dreams and desires to.




So here I am. I figure this could possibly be a great way to start.




I can plan out each day, my expectations either for that day or the next, or whatever comes to the forefront of my brain, and see how well, I can follow what my dreams or instincts tell me. I have had a reckless past to say a little, but not so bad that it can't be mended. I like anyone else have hurt, and been hurt. I am a single mother, with the gift of a child that I hold dear to my heart, my identity, the one thing, that helped me realize who the person was that I so desperately wanted to become.




This is my journey into a better life. Forgiving my past. Drifting toward my future. And being happy so that I can start using my present for what it is: a gift of today, because like so many before me have said - There is no promise of tomorrow.