Yesterday was quite possibly one of the biggest days of my life. Yesterday, I became a home owner, I closed on the house I purchased. I soley indebted myself to a mortage, and a home. I will finally get to move out of strangers garage. I will finally give my son his own room again. I will finally have a backyard again.
How exciting is all of that for anyone, much less a single mom, who has been through the throes of emotinoal and financial hell in the last few years?
But ya know, what my boyfriend did? He stole my thunder.
I have understood all along, that he has felt akward about me buying the house, but in my defense, he's know, at the very since this summer, that I was dead set on buying a house, instead of throwing what little money I have away on rent.
His position all along has been renting an apartment, as well as giving my dog to someone (family or friend) to take care of and keep until we bought a house in a year or more.
Well, I buffed up, found the house that we both fell in love with, and bought it. After he knew that I was seriously about to buy a house, he said, "If you need it to get the house, you can put me on the loan." Well, I didn't need it. Therefore, I did it myself. Plus, my history has taught me a valuable lesson. Make sure that Doodle and I are #1, and taken care of, that we have a place to lay our head at night. And #2, do NOT combine checking accounts, until you have legally changed your last name to his (which I have strong feeling about always keeping my maiden now, since Doodle shares it, another argument for another time - but you get what I am saying.)
All the people that are congratulating me are: His Dad, His Mom, His sister, His brother. They all knew I was buying the house. I was applying for the loan. I was committing myself to a mortage. I borrowed money from my family for the downpayment, and apprasial fee.
He makes the comment that bothers the hell out of me: "no not jealous @ all but would like to think i am contributing"
Well other than daydreaming/planning what all we want to do to the house, he hasn't. I take that back. He transferred his electricity to our new house. We are debating on wheter to use my dishnetwork ( I have tons of Doodle's cartoons recorded on my DVR-- hence my real reluctance, or his cable.
Ok, he finally sent me an instant message this morning, and I am torn between being upset, and firey mad.
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4 comments:
I am proud of YOU!!! YOU are an amazing mom and woman! We will talk- T
It's your house. Legally. You're right (and I'm glad you said it or this single mom would take you to task)"Make sure that Doodle and I are #1, and taken care of, that we have a place to lay our head at night."
He's being jealous and immature and you just have to let him get it out of his system. Men who don't have kids will always have a little bit of jealousy when they are with someone with kids. The house is symbolic of you looking out for you and your kid first and he's too jealous to see that right now. Sometime it bubbles to the surface at the most inappropriate times.
He'll either have to get over it on his own or not. But arguing about it when he feels like he does, isn't going to help him see the situation any more clearly.
That's just my opinion. I'd say let it go until some time has passed and he's calmed down. Like a time out. :) Men and kids... sometimes you have to deal with them the same way.
Congratulations!!! That is wonderful news.
And the truth of the matter is - it IS your house. He is going to move in, so it will be home to both of you - BUT unless he was on the board when you did all the financials, paperwork, looking etc and agreed to be part of the whole solution to the housing, then he should not have made other people's comments to be the focus on the day.
Congratulations are for him if he is supportive and allowing you to have this moment to revel in the joy.
seems like he is a little jealous that you did it on your own, that you dont 'need' him- and that you didnt have to ask him for help- i think it sounds like he is wanting you to ask him for help- even though you did it on your own- he wishes he had helped and got some credit-
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