Who I am, as of today

I know that most bloggers, start their blogs, and tell who they are. I haven't done that yet. There is a reason, and for anyone who has read my blog in detail it's because I am waiting on Ex to sign termination of parental rights before I ever open my mouth again, explaining our history.




But for a quick synaposis:




We dated, we broke up. We got back together, we moved in together, we got engaged. He was a louse at taking care of "our" bills, and wasted money on strippers, alcohol, and things that shouldn't be snorted up your nose. We broke off the engagement, moved into seperate apartments. We dated and broke up again (several times), he moved to Dallas, and a few days later I found out I was pregnant.




I can't help but always think about one very strong statement, that always sticks in my head. The weekend, I went to stay with him (the first weekend of 2004)and tell him I was pregnant,he said something to break the final rose colored glass I was peeping through. The moment I was leaving that sunday, he said, "call me when you get home,.......so I can tell you what to do with the rest of your life." The rest of our 'relationship' was downhill from there.




By April, he agreed to terminate rights (when he met new girlfriend who would become his finace a month later, and his wife a year later on my birthday). We've battled in court numerous times. She stalked, and harrasssed me and my friends for months on end. He stopped paying child support and sporatically kept up with insurance.




We went back to court again November of 2007 and he has once again agreed to terminate his rights. I still haven't seen the papers.




As of today, I am still sitting on the edge of my seat, wondering, waiting, wishing he would hurry up and sign them, so I can have some closure. Praying, now that since all of his debts as filed in bankruptcy has been discharged, that he hasn't changed his mind about terminating.




I do however find joy in the fact that his wife is packing on puddly pounds, as seen on myspace, hehehe. It gave me great enjoyment to see her the last time we were in court. She looked as if she hadn't showered in 2 days. The dress she wore looked like it came out of RAVE, the store when I doubt anything is over $15. He used to call me cankles, (mind you I was a gymnast, a cheerleader from junior high-college), and when I saw how much weight she had put on, wide hips, and legs that were inseperable from her feet, I laughed. My 72 year old father even said, "Didn't she used to be a little bitty thing? God lord, look at the weight she's put on." And yes, on that one, I actually did LAUGH OUT LOUD.




Back in September of 2007, He (I assumed) was forced through the proceedings to file the last 2 years of income tax. I always figured he didn't, so it wouldn't come to me. The government, stepped in and seized the $2671 return, and put it into my child support account since he was over $7000 in arrears. The bad part was however, since he filed jointly with Dingo, it had to sit in that account for 120 days. Yesterday, it was deposited into my bank account. $2671 is a lot of money for me. I'm thinking day care, pay for 2 more RN tests,..... and you should see the Chesire Cat smile on my face.




Today is also working on toward a really big day. It is T minus (counting today) 4 days until Friday. Friday is the dream I haven't told you guys about. Friday, I am closing on my first house.




I bought a house.




Can you believe that????




I have worked hard to keep up with my bills for the last few years, and raise my credit score. I borrowed $500 from my dad, and $500 from my brother (to be paid back from my tax return this year:) )and put $1000 down for a house that was listed at $89,9000. Built in 1953, remodeled from the studs up, leaving on the original hard wood floors. Come Friday, I will be the proud owner of a 3 bedroom, 1 bath home. A home that belongs to me, and Doodlebug, and dog. Boyfriend is moving in with us, and I am excited about that.




But all of this always leads me back to EX. After Friday, once all the craziness has died down, I will be calling my attorney to ask him to do something about the termination stuff. Call Ex, do something.




Am I wrong to be wanting to be proactive in this. Half my mind is telling me don't put my hand in the ant hill. The other part of me is saying get this over with. Get the final touches of closure in your life.




If you are reading this, what would you do if you were in my situation?????