Red Velvet Cake

Ok, so like since what feels like the beginning of time, I have felt a little over weight. Not obese, but just a little chubby.




This is going to be one of those kind of go-no-where posts because, I just don't have much to say today except, I am so tired or worrying about what I am eating, or how I look, but I'll keep doing it because, well by now, it's just habit, and society keeps telling us to be skinny.




The funny thing I kept thinking today was...man, the Greeks must have had it right. All I can remember is statues and pictures of art where the women, were WOMEN. They had hips, and thighs, and normal boobs, and bellys even, and they were still beautiful.




So I started looking for pictures on the internet to day and found this one:











and I can't help but think: Now THAT is what I am talking about! She looks healthy, like your everyday woman. Some 'soft-stuff' in all the places we all have it, and super-strong sexy guy, looks like he's all over himself looking at her.




As I keep looking, I found one of a single mom fighting her everyday battles:









With the exception of course that we aren't playing with our boobs when we are doing it, nor are we naked but, that isn't the point of my pondering today.




My point is this:




When do we get to start just being happy with ourselves and our bodies?




When do we start viewing ourselves like this? We are pieces of art. Granted some of us no longer feel like porcelain dolls, but more like the She-ra we have grown into, but when does it start???




I weigh myself every single day. I do. Today I weighed 135.5lbs. I am 5'3". Yesterday I weighed 136. So what did I do with my 5 oz victory? I went over to the hospital cafeteria to look for desert! I found the most beautiful red velvet cake, and was so excited, I practically skipped back to the office in anticipation of eating it! As soon as I got here, I thought, hmmm I'm going to go head and even drink a real coke too. I had eat a 200+ cal tuna package, and felt like I deserved all of this, Yea!!!




And like most things in life, I was let down. Not only was the cake the biggest disappointment, I knew I could at least turn to my bubbly tasty beverage to pick me up where I needed it, and you would so know it. . . . It was flat.





So it is days like this when I have to just laugh.




Laugh because, no matter, how much my body has changed in the last decade (I'm also 29 years old), it is never, going to be what I picture as ideal.




It was just a few years ago, we were ALL salivating of Ms. Britney Spears body:









To have known then, to have that body, I would have to have the life she has now.... give me my pudgy ANY day, EVERY DAY!




This is me, of course I cut my head of for identity reasons, but this will give you an idea of me.





Not so bad I know, but it's enough to make ya wanna scream. How they have shows like "The Biggest Loser"...but nothing called, "Those last 10 pounds", because which is really harder to lose??





I know I shouldn't be complaining, giving the fact that I sit on my rump most days, but where can I find MORE time in my day to really do something about it???




How can I find the energy to do somthing about it?




Just random thoughts for the day...back to work!