OH MY GOD AT THE EMAIL I JUST GOT!

Ana,

I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. The papers have been signed and sitting on my desk for 2 months now, but I'm still pretty hesitant to send them.

I will try to keep this letter as non-confrontational as I can, but unfortunately I need address some concerns so we can come to some kind of final conclusion in this matter.

You told me you wanted to try to work this out on our own, which is fantastic, so I'm sending this directly to you instead of your attorney. I hope that you will continue to communicate with me a little longer so we can get this worked out.

Obviously it is not an easy or pleasant decision for me to give up my rights to Doodlebug.

My first choice would of course be for you to begin obeying the law and stop being, in my opinion, selfish at my and Doodle's expense which would mean I could exercise my court ordered visitation and have a nice relationship with him.

That sounds a little harsh because this is a harsh situation you have created and I hope it is as unpleasant for you to hear as it is for the rest of us to have to live with.

The A.G's office is breathing down my neck again pretty fiercely about the back child support.

As you know, Dingo and I have have had serious financial troubles over the last couple of years.

Those troubles were in no small part caused by the time, stress and nearly $84,000.00 we have paid over the last 3 years in child support, legal and travel related expenses in our failed attempts to convince you to allow and the courts to enforce my visitation rights w/ Doodlebug. When I actually figure the costs of lost time the figure quickly raises to well over $125,000.00. This staggering, horrible and has to stop.

Dingo and I were trying to figure out today how to budget so that we could get the back support paid down when it occurred to me again how ridiculous it is that I'm paying for it at all.

We were in court 5 months ago in October after nearly a year of requesting a legitimate and reasonable decrease in child support. In October when the AG's office finally made time for us, they thoroughly investigated and examined our financial records and recommended that the support amount be decreased to $350.00 plus health insurance and that the final order be entered reflecting the appropriate standard visitation schedule as it was previously ordered by the judge when Doodlebug turned 3 ( which he did in September).

True to form, you and your attorney fought, delayed and manipulated proceedings so that, yet again, no decision, agreement or any other type of positive progress could be made and my trip and expenses were, yet again, wasted.

I don't really want to rehash this any further except to say that the only acceptable option I'm willing to consider in terminating my rights is that I no longer have to pay any support. The giving up of rights is actually not as difficult as I had imagined because I have NEVER actually had any rights to Doodlebug since day one save the $40,000.00 I've paid in support and health insurance.

If you had allowed the support to be lowered to a reasonable amount, there would be no back support owed.

We have 2 options:

This first is not my preference, but to be honest, the thought of getting you out of my life and re-gaining some control so that I can go back to being happy and successful is extremely attractive. This is only an option for me if I feel like Doodlebug will be taken care of and supported financially which are not obvious to me at this time.

OPTION 1) You will temporarily pay the total of all delinquent and current child support payments which will, of course be immediately sent straight back to you after 3 days. If the 2 of you intend to adopt and care for Doodlebug and you truly have no need for me in a financial respect, there should be no issue in you coming up w/ the approx. $5,000 that will require for less than 1 week. If you can't then I suggest you start re-thinking your position that you don't need any more financial support from me and that Doodleubg doesn't need me. I have just come out of bankruptcy and near financial ruin and I still managed to come up with over $80,000.00 over the last 3 years in an attempt to support and visit Doodlebug. You can set up any legitimate conditions you or your attorney would like to insure that the funds are secure and that I will go through with my part. As I said, this is not my first choice, but there does not seem to be any positive relationship in our future so as long as you can take care of Doodlebug, I'm willing to back off and let you do so. As I told you before on the phone, if Doodlebug ever needs anything, please don't hesitate to ask. Depending on what you ask for, I may not be willing or able to give it, but I will try and I will never make you or Doodlebug feel bad for asking.

OPTION 2) If you do not have the resources to take of the stipulations I set forth above within a couple of weeks, then I will pay the back support in full and continue my attempts to develop my relationship with Doodlebug. You have now lived in Brazoria county for 6+ months so it will be no problem to get the case transferred there at this point. Especially in light of the terrible stalemate that has been going on in Hardin County (and the fact that you never lived in that county in the first place) along with the fact that the AG's office said they would have no problem recommending a transfer and finally because it is the law... there should be no problem getting an immediate transfer. I have family and friends who are successful family law attorneys in that area so it will be inexpensive or even free for me to stay there and to continue my legal efforts in gaining appropriate visitation and reasonable support. I have also contacted several of my contacts in local law enforcement agencies in your area and they have told me there will be no problem
enforcing our current orders which state that standard visitation went into effect on Doodlebug's 3rd birthday. That actually means that I am going to begin my regular visitations as often as possible starting next month if this is the option that I/we decide on.

Please let me know which option you would most like to pursue. If your answer is that neither is acceptable, then be on notice that I will proceed with option 2 and I will be picking Doodlebug up for the first possible visitation period after April 15th.

I know this is upsetting because it is is horribly upsetting and stressful for me, but please keep in mind that this has gone on long enough and my goal is to come to quickest possible conclusion so that we can all move on with our lives. Doodlebug is getting too old for this to not begin affecting him negatively pretty soon.

Thanks,

The EX

This is my reply...which hasn't been sent, because at this moment, my attorney is reading it, and he's say's he will reply to The Ex...but wants to read my email first....

Let's hope I get to send this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poop-for-Brains with a tiny Penis,

The funny thing about your delays, is the simple fact that if you would have gotten back to me in a timely matter, you wouldn't have had to stress yourself out in writing this snarky "non-confrontational" email in the first place, which is amusing to me since you have a history of "non-testy”, “non-confrontational", "non-harsh" prose.

As a matter of fact, I have been trying to communicate with you for several weeks now, (without my attorney) and yet you haven't responded to a single phone call. In addition to that, your wife also refused to give me a contact number (being that calling the 1800 number isn't working for this, the publicly listed home phone number is disconnected) so that I could contact you outside of a time, when we are
both not busy, me at my job, and you at your conferences or whatever it is that you do these days.

First and foremost, do not dare blame any 'situation' on me as a situation that I have created. You are an adult, well into his mid 30s, stop pointing fingers for your own short comings.

I am not at all sorry that you owe back child support for a child that you helped to create, as evidenced by the paternity test you made Doodlebug and I take. As I have been supporting him for three years with virtually no help from you, especially recently- with $50 here and there, or when monies were seized from you, I don't feel that I have anything to prove to you regarding my ability to support Doodlebug. In case you don’t have a correct figure, you currently owe $4733 and will rise on the 1st of April.

As for the Texas Office of the Attorney General, "breathing down your neck" as you so eloquently put it, that has nothing to do with me. You are a person, who has not done what you were ordered to do; you must in your own age and maturity realize that is your fault alone and not mine.

As far as yours and Dingo’s “financial troubles”, I could care less. That as well, has nothing to do with me. You have made the decisions that have lead to your “financial troubles”, please do not pretend, I have had anything to do with that. And to be quite honest, you don’t truly appear to be living the life of paupers, so again, I don’t really care, nor do I care about hearing about it.

These troubles you speak of: are a funny thing too because for a FACT, you have paid EXACTLY $24, 966.55 in child support. As yes you can quote me on that, because as of today, March 27, 2008 at 8:36 a.m. that was the number I just got from the Texas OAG hotline when I called to make sure I quoted true and correct information. As well if you want to quote a number for money spent to raise Doodlebug, in addition to “Stress”, I am certain, my estimated figure could well out-range yours; so again, to make these numbers out of thin air is silly, and quite frankly a waste of time to write, as well as read. The extra money you spent was a direct result of your refusal to continue to pay the support obligation, and has absolutely nothing to do with me. Had you done what you were legally bound to do, you most certainly would not have incurred “the extra debt.” I am well aware that you were fired from certain legal services for non-payment of services, so please, I am asking you at this point, to stop throwing around random financial figures, as they are useless.

As for this statement: “Dingo and I are trying to figure out today how to budget so that we could get the back support paid down when it occurred to me again how ridiculous it is that I am paying for it all.” I agree that it IS ridiculous that you owe back child support. I am still not quite sure why you refused to pay it in the first place. A budget sounds like a wonderful idea; I could help you with that should you need it, as I have been living on one for the past 3+ years.

And once again, you are citing incorrect information. We were supposed to be in court in October of 2007, but you were “unable” to attend, and we actually did go to court, November 20, 2007. As well as, there was no “recommendations” or order for lowered child support by the AG’s behalf, I am aware there were outrageous requests on your behalf, but they were not agreed upon, nor were they the thoughts of the Texas OAG, so I don’t think it wise to put “facts” here on their behalf.

As for your statement on me and my attorney manipulating proceedings, my attorney and I are only acting in Doodlebug's best interests. Apparently, the legal
system agrees with us. Further than that, I will not go on in this subject area, I concede, as you know more about manipulation that I do.

As for your only acceptable option to willingly consider terminating your rights is that you no longer have to pay any support, by definition, you would no longer have to pay child support. The court order, would allow for that. As for- if I would have let the child support be lowered to a reasonable amount (which I am assuming is about $50, what you were almost regularly paying) there would be no back child support~ well to that I must say, you can’t really raise a child on $50 a month, I feel sure that pets you may have or had eat more than that. How can you expect that to support a human on that?

As for your “Options”

“This is the only option for me if I feel like Doodlebug will be taken care of and supported financially which are not obvious to me at this time”,~ not that owe you any explanation, but Doodlebug has had a roof over his head, clothes on his back, food to eat, and toys to play with, not to mention unconditional love and adornment from
everyone in his life since the beginning of it. He has been provided for, never with any lack of desire to do so by me, The Boyfriend, or either of our families. As a matter of fact, we haven’t even had to filled bankruptcy in the last, well, ever.

OPTION1)
For the first time, since I have known you, I can say you might be correct about something. But there will be a “condition” on my part. The one thing I know truly about you, is that I can not trust you. So, as soon as the papers are in the hands of my attorney, and the judge, that you agree to terminate all your rights to Doodlebug,
and that you, nor anyone in your family, nor future children ever contact him, I will take care of every single penny you owe in back child support. With me writing this, it is enough proof that you will be obligated to nothing. AGAIN, I cannot stress enough, I- DO-NOT-CARE about your financial status or supposed lack there of. You knew, 24 hours after I did, that you were a father-to-be. On that note, as I did, you should have been planning to take care of that obligation, instead of pretending that it might not exist. I assure you, Doodlebug will NEVER need you for anything, so please do not worry or stress anymore that I, or he may ever ask you for anything. You are so kind, to assure me that you would not make either of us “feel bad” for asking, I am just flushed with the feeling of warm fuzzies over that statement.

OPTION2
Well, since I have already agreed to Option 1, there really is no need for me to go into this, however I will say: That for someone who says they have no money, are in financial ruins, and cannot pay child support or arrears, for you to be able to come up with money to “pay the back support in full” sounds quite magical. And yes I am aware that you know where I live, as well as contact phone numbers that I have, because I have abided by our court order, and given these to you, so that I may never be found “in contempt”. Please do not kid yourself on a fantasy that even if our court hearings were changed, that you hold any power of me, I have been a great, upstanding parent, and abided by the law given to me, even with all our circumstances, can you say the same? Your days of bullying me, and now trying to blackmail me with my son, are over. As for you trying to pinpoint court ordered allowances of visitation, our last, effective, COURT ORDER , states that you have to follow through will all phases of visitation before the next starts, so again, stop your bullying, and manipulation, they may serve a greater purpose in other areas of your life, because they are of no use here.

Upsetting for you, sure, why not, looks good on paper. As for Doodlebug, he is a healthy happy child, who knows none the less.

To summarize my reply to everything you said, in short form:

I will make sure, and I have confirmed this with Mr. XXXAG attorney, that once you have signed AND RETURNED the Parental Termination papers of Doodlebug, to my attorney, XXXXXX, and a court date is set, so that I may present it to the judge, at that time, you will be forgiven all future child support, as well as any arrears owed.

.

So...I have spoken with my attorney. He says not to send :(

He says... wait... let the Ex sweat it out....and pay. That I am to have no further contact with him. That the AG is pretty fed up with his antics...

This makes me a tad nervous.

Again... I just want it all to be over with.