So, inheritly,....I'm a walking stress bomb,...trying to laugh some of it off.
It makes me sad, because NO ONE in my family has heart disease....
It makes me sad, because Ativan is what I used to give my hysterical patients in the hospital to calm them down... and here I am ... with a perscription for it.
I cried all day yesterday.
Would just be walking out of Ikea (on my lunch break) and started crying.
Was sitting at my desk...and starting crying, on my drive home...while cooking dinner,....and then while taking a bath.
The boyfriend came in to check on me when I was taking a bath,...and I guess saw the miserable state I was in...and basically just jumped in behind me and sat there rubbing my back and shoulders...telling me I was going to be ok.
As for emotions involving the Ex.
I am now to a point where I have been able to pick the words apart in enough (from his email) to not be so 'scared',...as I have been feeling. And yes, I am OCD about doing things like that. I feel like if I can pick things apart and analyze each, piece, I can understand them better, and let go of some of the stress and anxiety that they initially fill me with.
so I'm sending this directly to you instead of your attorney. I hope that you will continue to communicate with me a little longer so we can get this worked out.
This means to me...that he still doesn't want to shell out for a 3rd attorney, therefore doesn't want to involve my attoryney...although it is too late for that.
My first choice would of course be for you to begin obeying the law and stop being, in my opinion, selfish at my and doodlebug's expense which would mean I could exercise my court ordered visitation and have a nice relationship with him.
I have never, and I mean never, told him he couldnt' come and see Doodlebug, he just quite showing up. But then again, he only made 4 visits that were from an hour-hour and half before out last BIG battle in court May 2005, 3 random ones after that, last one Oct. 2005.
The A.G's office is breathing down my neck again pretty fiercely about the back child support.
This of course is his BIGGEST concern. They have previously put liens on his multiple bank accounts, and tax returns... April 16th is just around the corner.
it occurred to me again how ridiculous it is that I'm paying for it at all.
Oh that's right...because you just discharged 1000's of dollars in your bankruptcy suite, and therefore, think you have the right to not pay this debt either.
The giving up of rights is actually not as difficult as I had imagined
Does this scream to anyone else? Because it does to me. If Doodlebug weren't the spitting image of me, I wouldn't bet that the EX could pick him out of a crowd of 3.
If you do not have the resources to take of the stipulations I set forth above within a couple of weeks, then I will pay the back support in full and continue my attempts to develop my relationship with Doodlebug.
This statement alone, lets me that,...when the Enforcement hearing is set....that I can be assure, that either I will get back child support paid in full, to keep Ex from going to jail, or Ex will go to jail. At this point... I dont' know where the termination will go with all of this.
I would think that since he said:
the thought of getting you out of my life and re-gaining some control so that I can go back to being happy and successful is extremely attractive.
It seems that actually handing over the papers at that time...would be a sure fire way to get me out of his life.
along with the fact that the AG's office said they would have no problem recommending a transfer and finally because it is the law... there should be no problem getting an immediate transfer.
Transfers happen if it is a child custody case.... not child support. Secondly, I am aware that the OAG doesn't like the Ex right now, and not sure how cooperative that they would be for him.
I have family and friends who are successful family law attorneys in that area
The only family who are attorney's live in Dallas, and Harlingen.... unless Dingo has family here that I am unaware of. Therefor a statement to scare me.
I have also contacted several of my contacts in local law enforcement agencies in your area and they have told me there will be no problem enforcing our current orders which state that standard visitation went into effect on Noah's 3rd birthday. That actually means that I am going to begin my regular visitations as often as possible starting next month if this is the option that I/we decide on.
Again, he hasn't done his homework. Not only does Boyfriend's brother (who is a police officer) live about...um..... 2 miles from us, but I am aware that local law enforement does NOT step in, in these types of situations. They will show up, and they will tell you this is a civil matter and to take it to court. I also know this because at 2 of the first 4 visits he had with Doodle, I had to have an officer present, as he tried to take him, in the middle of a south Texas summer, with heat in the upper 90s, humidity at 100%, and keep him outside in a tent in my front yard for 4 hours during his supervised visitation...long story.
If your answer is that neither is acceptable, then be on notice that I will proceed with option 2 and I will be picking doodle up for the first possible visitation period after April 15th.
Funny... cause that is right before his taxes are due on the 16th. And, I am not in the business of not following my court order which states he is still on supervised visits.
my goal is to come to quickest possible conclusion so that we can all move on with our lives.
Here's to hoping those papers come sooner than later.
I know that you are all sick of hearing this.
But for own sanity (therapy) I have to split hairs to make it comfortable for me.
7 comments:
Not sick of hearing about it. I just wish it would end for you so that it can stop consuming so much of your life.
Dear Anon...
that is my wish too. and it is so simple for anyone to say, "stop thinking about it all so much."
However, I know that the Ex is quite a charming, manipulating con, that I feel like i Have to so over prepared for anything...that my mind is always wondering where else I should look for anwers, solutions, proof of something.....
does that make sense??
It truly is sad to read that. My girlfriend's ex called to inform her yesterday he would be signing his rights over to the little guy. Of course he blamed it on her saying he just wanted her out of his life forever, and he would do anything. I guess she is horrible for wanting him to pay child support and actually talk to his son. I cannot imagine how a man could so easily walk away from the child he had a part in creating. One of the few things in life that is precious is life, and if you have anything to do with creating it, I find myself mystified by the lack of compassion for ones child, or the lack of interest in being a part of developing that life. I find it shameful, but more than anything, terribly dissapointing.
You did some mighty fine picking there, Ms Anabi!
I think handing that to your attorney and not responding was the smartest thing you did last week.
The smartest thing to do this week is follow doctors orders and relax - don't waste any more on second-guessing him, because if you do, he is taking that much more valuable time away from you and your family right there. (Very easy for me to say from over here)
Hugs to you, honey.
I understand it is far easier for me to say looking in on your world. I also understand the be prepared cause you just never know what they are going to throw at you next. From reading your post, it would seem that you are a very caring, upbeat Mom to a smart little boy. Only you know when enough is enough and you put them (Dingo and crew) behind you. Guessing what they are going to do, I have learned, is an exhausting process and I would rather (although it is HARD!) do more fun things then wonder what the heck the next curve ball will be.
Take care of yourself and keep writing it all out.
Hey Anon-
I don't know who you are (obviously), or how you found me, but I just wanted to say, for whatever reason, I find your comments uplifting and comforting.
So thanks for the input as always.
The thing is, enough is enough. I am ready for it to be over, it's just the the Great State of Texas hasnt' had enough, or they have...and are on their way to putting their foot down.
I started taking my Lexapro last night so here is to t-14 days and counting to maybe a little pharmacologically induced stress and anxiety relief.
Anabiosis-
I just have to tell you that Lexapro saved me. My ex's BS finally gave me a nervous breakdown last fall. I flew to a girlfriend's house (3000 miles away), cried on her couch for a week and drank too much wine. She literally called my doctor for me and scheduled an emergency visit. I really think that she saved my sanity. The Lexapro was so amazing in that it really clarified my thinking and logic. My whole perspective on the situation changed. Hang in there, relax and surf the ride of the little pill.
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